Mittwoch, 7. Juli 2010

V I I I • V I I • M M X







I barely dream

but I had a terrible one some nights ago







calm and peaceful I felt two weeks before
I was home and saw all my loved ones

sitting at my friends place in the kitchen
preparing a salad together
balcony doors opened
hearing voices from the courtyard
listening to music

I didn't know that I could feel so happy in that moment






last week I came back to where I live currently

I felt heavy
suffocated
and sad


I was watching the Germany - Argentina game outside

the first time I really went outside the house
after two days of isolated moodiness





after the game
I went home
and fell asleep




in my dream I was running through streets
it was night and people were everywhere

It wasn't packed
just people walking around
it seemed like it was weekend

I can't locate the dream

it even seemed like streets back home

I was running
looking behind
looking around

I was haunted
strained
scared


then I got caught
the guy was talking to me

I could not escape
nor run nor say anything

mute

he was dragging me
leading the way



he tried to push me into a car
but then he realized that it was occupied

it was a police car

ironically
they were in a careless mood
they were laughing about the incidence



I was silent

I felt invisible
they were looking through me
ignoring my helpless eyes

I felt like a ghost




the guy was dragging me further
scared and weak willed I followed
but somehow it wasn't him who scared me

he didn't look scary
I almost remember his face



then I escaped somehow

running again

hysterically looking around
hiding behind a building
checking where the guy is
running to another direction
hiding again behind a tree




then I woke up







I felt awful

then I thought about this dream a lot


maybe I dreamt this because my nerves were tensed from the football game
football players like a crowd
running after one ball
hunting the ball?


the feeling I had
of being haunted



but then
I thought of something worse
that









I kept on looking after the my hunter






why did I?



I kept on looking for it





scared

haunted.












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