... des impressions
you know when you feel fucked up?
you live life but you don't really realize the things you do
you see stuff but don't remember afterwards
you meet people but don't recognize them the second time
you go to parties,
you drink,
you get drunk,
feels good... sure.
you take drugs...
oh my god
this feeling is so good...
two days later you want to die.
you hate it. hate life. hate yourself.
people telling you what to do
people telling you what not to do
people who have power telling you stuff
people who think who have power telling you the same stuff
people who think who know you telling you bla
you pretend to listen
prentending since youre just having your come down...
so annoying.
slowly but surely everythings gonna be alright. man.
relax.
....... .... next day everything is ok again...
more or less...
.... but this up and down and up and down and.........
can be so exhausting.
struggles for so long. many tears. you hate it.
but then you stop and say
... life is so ironic
and so funny
and still intresting.
.
im in seoul now
i always prefered life in europe.
always felt so suffocated
when i went in korea.
i couldnt speak the language properly
couldnt express myself
for me it was 답답하다..
it was like.. when i knew im going to korea in a week, it was
usually during summer vacation..., my atopie got worse, or exema.
like it gets worse when its going to rain in a few days...
the idea of being in korea and spending time in korea always
completely stressed me out....
i try not to judge. anyways...
i kind of understand korean culture more
at least i try to
one of the reasons why im here
getting to know my origins
basically i begin a new chapter of my life here
school finished and im 19
not that i had this so called normal life
this may be the third part of my life
1st 0-16
2nd 16-19
3rd 19-???
.
korean system is not easy.
its not easy for people to get through.
but korea and korean culture developped
really fast and became a country.
i mean, war ended 1953 and the state wasnt free yet
since dictatorships followed
so about within 50 years korea developped
and its surprising how it looks like now
the culture is so intresting, koreans work very hard.
.
.
.
korean but raised and born in europe wasnt easy sometimes.
.
service is So good...
everything is quick.
korea is so comfortable.
lets see how it will work out.
maybe ill stay longer in korea than i planned
korea is quite cool
winter is just so cold here
im going to meet an agent next week
lets see
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