Montag, 26. Oktober 2009

This is a letter to my friend george ...

now i see

i was on my way to loose myself and all my dreams.

this winter was the peak of the past three years of my life.

now i can say,.. i had tough times.
there were so many times i wanted to die
during the past three years
and especially this past winter.
our past.. this winter... hum haha
i think you dont even really know how
much i wanted to die.

i got my spirit back
and continue at the point where i stopped
and where i even went a few steps back sometimes.

i shared so many things with you george
(though i was mad at you too sometimes)
both good and bad
productive and unproductive times
we met so many people
saw so many things
laughed together, cried together
and i want to thank you for being my friend
the closest
since last summer
when we first met and started together
who knew me best during my rough times
and who maybe couldnt always keep me from doing harm to myself.

but well....
no regrets
no reproach
it was simply me
getting the experience
..and growing somehow.

half of our time i wasnt myself though, i had lost 'the shining in my eyes' how you perfectly described it once.

life gets beautiful again in my eyes.
but i always loved life as you know..

i am So happy at the moment.
just small things which are bothering me but you know me...
i dont complain much... at least i try to.
"beschwerden aus den mündern der verwöhnten"
like my brother said once
hearing 'modern' kids complaining kind of makes me sick

in my point of view i have 3 close friends
who know my thoughts really well

one of them is you

i love you!!!
there are so many good memories.
god babe haha... imagine us last summer...
and aaaaalll those steps and things we shared.
just amazing

ill always be there for you.

your (recovered) girl,


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